It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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