you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Reggie can tackle my bush.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
