I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
