did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
