Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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