Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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