The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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