it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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