Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize