I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
