Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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