real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
this just has baby written all over it
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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