i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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