I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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