doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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