please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
