So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
