I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
