whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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