im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
