My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Damn victory sex feels great
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
