We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Randomize
