addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
