drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
