Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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