Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
