Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
