i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
