just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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