I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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