$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Also, beer. Big fan.
We're too hungover to prance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize