i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
