i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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