I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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