So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Four minutes until I can fart!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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