does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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