every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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