Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
