Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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