ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
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