He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
