It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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