i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
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could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
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she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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