been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
