Don't worry. I has chaperone.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
