Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
