Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
