I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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