At least make sure they are 18
Why
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
