I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
