Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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