she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
