And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
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did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
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Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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