It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
