you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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