If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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