Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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