I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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