I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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