did you get engaged???
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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