In the future we'll all be gay
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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