i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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